Every one of us has got natural tendencies and
inclinations towards pleasant, positive and rewarding outcomes in life. Many
want to be comfortable, healthy, rich, successful, powerful and influential in
life. We want to take charge of our individual worlds. We wish to determine the
turnout of events, have our say and have our ways. We
naturally desire things to happen exactly how we want it.
For example a young man wooing a lady would
want a yes from her and not otherwise. Every young man would wish they could
walk up to any girl of their choice, woo her and have her without rejection,
rebuff or better still insult.
Every single lady also wish they can actually
choose and marry the man they really want, especially if they find themselves
in a situation where they are seriously been chased by their dream man's
friend. Consequently, many women today I presume are probably married to the
best man available when they were ready for marriage and not the type they
truly dreamt of. Many married women today may silently wish their men were a
little taller with a sexier physic, well groomed -no pot belly, power dresser,
neater, more passionate, caring, romantic, hardworking, intelligent, richer,
sensitive, courageous, powerful and intellectual.
In life we do want things to happen exactly as
we think and desire; we all have expectations. We hope to be done with school
at a certain age, get a good job immediately after school, earn a certain
amount as salary, buy the car we want, live in the environment and house we
want, have the kids we want when we want them and in the gender we want them,
send them to schools we want, want them to all be very good academically, hope
nobody falls ill, hope not to lose money, hope not to lose our jobs, hope not
to lose our friends and relationships, hope our spouses are faithful and
committed, hope our assets and material possessions and investments are safe
and secure and hope nobody dies.
If you have the control, if you have the
charge of your life, nothing bad will happen to you, unfortunately, you don't.
Things can't happen exactly the way we want
because our lives are beyond and outside our control. We're not empowered to
choose or determine what happens to us. If we were, life will be perfect for
all but hey! Let's face it, life is not perfect.
Life as interesting as it is, is not perfect;
good things and bad things do happen to us all. We daily face challenges even
with the best of our achievements and accomplishment. The best of countries,
companies, marriages, relationships and people still have issues and
challenges. Meaning we cannot be absolutely free from issues and challenges by
changing our country, company, location, relationships and even your spouse
because with the new one comes a new set of peculiar challenges and issues.
Why is life not perfect? Simple; human beings
are not perfect. Mankind is not perfect, no one is perfect, and the best of men
are still but men. Even you have got your flaws, your issues, your weaknesses
and inadequacies. You make mistakes every now and again, you mess up, you have
destructive habits and tendencies, and you're not all that too. Now listen to
this, the cumulative weaknesses of every individual including you is what has
brought about the imperfection in life.
Hence, you are also a contributor to the
inability to have what we all want out of life because your imperfection makes
perfect expectations in life impossible.
The only person that can be exonerated from
being a contributor to the challenges, issues and imperfections in this life is
that one that is absolutely perfect; no flaws, no issues, no mistakes, no
weaknesses and this morning I'm sure you're not the one.
You may assume or begin to think this morning
that your flaws, challenges and issues are too minute or insignificant to
generate the kind of problems we're facing in the world all over today –
guess what, everybody is thinking the same, hence the so called little issues
we carry individually have cumulatively birth the enormity of the challenge
we're facing in our country today.
I've heard it often said that you may not be
responsible for what happens to you in life, this in my opinion is partially
true because you may not be responsible for yours directly but we are
collectively responsible for what is happening to us all in this country, may
not be yours but someone else's life – this may even be by your inactivity,
your being passive, lack of will to challenge mediocrity, remaining in your
comfort zone or lack of courage to manifest your absolute potentials, abilities
and worth to the benefit of all mankind. Hmmn.
So this morning, stop pointing fingers and
looking for whom to blame for your issues and challenges because we are all
responsible for all issues and challenges! You also played a part in where we
find ourselves today and how we feel about our lives and potentials.
Stop the blame game, stop pointing fingers,
stop accusing others, stop blaming your boss, stop blaming the management, stop
blaming your colleagues, stop blaming everybody, anybody or any event in your
past for your so called life issues.
Stop blaming that uncle, that aunty, the fact
that your parents died early or were poor or you grew up in the village, or
that you didn't school abroad or the state of the nation.
Let me tell you, there are millions that went
through the same or even worse conditions than yours and are very successful in
life today!
I am not saying we have been fairly treated,
or we have not been cheated, abused or messed up; far from it, what I'm asking
is when it happened how did we react? What did we do about it? What choices did
we make? Were the choices value adding or destructive? Did our reaction launch
us further in life or stagnated our lives?
In fact what are you doing about your issues
right now? Because you see many people are going through your same kind of
issues, but handling it better and making the kind of progress you are not
making.
Is your reaction and tactics improving your
situation or degenerating your condition? Are you overwhelmed by the scheme of
vengeance and vendetta such that you have suspended your personal progress?
Have you lost yourself and your vision in the desperation to hit back or win
the so called game?
Learn to separate individuals from issues;
deal with the issues not the people, when you begin to deal with the people you
confuse your life coordinates then you begin to go around in circles making long
term and permanent decisions around and because of people that are in your
lives for just a season.
Please return the focus to yourself and your
vision. When and where did you miss it? Go back there in your mind and
re-project into your vision and future. Forgive and let it go. Be smart and
shun detractors. Invest in yourself emotionally, psychologically,
intellectually, and financially.
Truth is your world should be your priority as
only you will remain in your world forever - everybody else will exit when the
time comes even your best friends and loved ones. Hence the wisdom is to focus
on your life; build it, protect it and secure it.
Stop waiting for your government, stop
depending on promises, stop waiting for those so called better days, stop waiting
for that perfect administration, the caring boss, the considerate colleague,
that deceptive philosophy of little work, plenty returns! If any significant
progress will be made in your career, it's all in your hands.
Work out your progression with knowledge,
intelligence and hard-work. Nothing good comes easy, please stop the blame game
and take responsibility.
Written By : Muyiwa Afolabi
CEO; Frontiers Consulting Services
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