Every great success in
life will always represent a triumph of persistence. Your ability to decide
what you want, to begin and then to persist through all obstacles and
difficulties until you achieve your goals is the critical determinant of your
success. And the flip side of persistence is courage.
Conceivably the
greatest challenge that you will ever face in life is the conquest of fear and
the development of the habit of courage. Fear is the greatest enemy of mankind.
When you develop the habit of courage and unshakable self-confidence, a whole
new world of possibilities opens up for you.
Providentially, the
habit of courage can be learned just as any other success skill is learned. To
do so, you need work to conquer your fears while concurrently building up the
kind of courage and confidence that will enable you to deal unafraid with the unavoidable
ups and downs of life.
Ann Landers wrote: “Expect trouble as an inevitable
part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the
eye, and say, I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.” This is the
kind of attitude that leads to victory.
The starting point in
overcoming fear and developing courage is, first of all, to look at the factors
that predispose us toward being afraid. Typically, the root source of fear is
childhood conditioning, usually destructive criticism from one or both parents.
This causes us to experience two types of fear. These are, (1) the fear of
failure, which causes us to think, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t and the second (2)
the fear of rejection, which causes us to think, I have to, I have to, I have
to.
Because of these fears,
we become preoccupied with the fear of losing our money or our time or our
emotional investment in a relationship. We become hypersensitive to the options
and possible criticisms of others, sometimes to the point where we are afraid
to do anything that anyone else might disapprove of. Our fears tends paralyze
us, holding us back from taking constructive action in the direction of our
dreams and goals. We hesitate. We become indecisive. We procrastinate. We make
excuses and find reasons to delay. And finally we feel frustrated.
Fear can also be caused
by ignorance. When we have limited information, we may be tense and insecure
about the outcome of our actions. Ignorance causes us to fear change, to fear
the unknown, and to avoid trying anything new or different. But the reverse is,
the very act of gathering more information and experience in a particular area
gives us more courage and confidence in that area. There are part of your life
where you have no fears at all because you have mastered that area, like
driving a car, skiing. Because of your knowledge and experience, you feel
completely capable of handling whatever happens. You have no fears.
Another factor that
causes fears is illness or fatigue. When we are tired, sick, or when we are not
physically fit, we are more predisposed to fear and doubt than when we are
feeling healthy and happy and energetic.
RISK TAKERS
The future belongs to
the risk takers, not the security seekers. Life is perverse in the sense that
the more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek
opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you
desire.
Whenever you feel fear
or anxiety and you need to bolster your courage to persist in the face of
obstacles and setbacks, switch your attention to your goals. Create a clear
mental picture of the person that you would like to be, performing the way you
would like to perform. Nothing is wrong with the thoughts of fear as long as
you temper them with thoughts of courage and self-reliance. Whatever you dwell
upon grows- so be careful.
The mastery of fear and
the development of courage are essential prerequisites for a happy, successful
life. With a commitment to acquire the habit of courage, you will eventually
reach the point where your fears no longer play a major role in your decision
making. You will set big, challenging, exciting goals and you will be confident
that you can attain them. You will be able to face every situation with
calmness and self assurance. The key is courage.
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