What is fear? Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat
of hurt, danger or pain.
Hmmm, fear is an emotion, fear is an emotion.
How exactly do emotions come about? Your emotions - that is the way you feel
about something is a product of your mind-set and your memory.
The way you see a matter, the way you see a
person, the way you see a situation, your interpretation of anything; how you
think it should be and how you think it could be can actually trigger off all
sorts of emotions, including fear. Your various emotions is a product of your
judgements.
Dear friend no human is born with any form of
emotion including fear. Emotions are produced based on expectations,
perceptions and mind sets and these are a function of your judgement.
Every baby was taught judgement by its
environment, experience and those who raised it. Some times when a toddler
keeps attempting to touch a lantern or candle for instance, at times the care
giver may allow that baby touch it and hurt, and from that experience the baby
would learn to be afraid of fire. Dear friend, fear is learnt.
What we go through; the good, the bad, the
ugly and the nasty shape our judgements of every matter based on how we feel
during and after the experience. Consequently, the memory of that bad, ugly and
nasty experience seem to threating us anytime we feel their might be a repeat
of that experience. This threatening memory is what we call fear.
Also, information from our environment on bad,
sad and very scary experiences create fear in us. These bad and scary
information sit in our memory and contribute in threatening us anytime it
appears we are about to face a similar experience to what we were told of or
informed about.
In summary, our personal negative and awful
experiences and the negative or sad information we take in, sit in our memory
and threating us anytime, every time.
Fear, even according to the dictionary is a
threat. It is nothing real, it's all in the mind, it's not a reality, it's just
a feeling, what you fear doesn't really exist, you just feel so based on a
memory not on reality.
A negative memory about a person or situation
is triggered by anyone or any situation with resemblance to the one in your
memory. That negative memory then triggers the emotion called fear.
Every fear is internal; an assumption and
supposition of a possible outcome. It's the thinking that if it turned out bad
for you or some other person in time past, it would turn out bad again.
Every fear is a suggestion, it's not a matter
of fact; it's a matter of thought – it's not for real, it's how you see it not
how it really is, and unfortunately you make decisions based on what you feel
not what really is, and you consequently miss out on great possibilities.
I've had need to counsel too many young ladies
who are very much afraid of marriage; they want to get married though, but are
very afraid of it. Almost all of them tie their fear to how their fathers
treated their mothers. According to them, if the way their fathers treated
their mothers is the way their husbands- to-be will eventually treat them;
they'll rather remain single.
Dear friend, do you realise most of the
negative and bad things you do is borne out of fear? You tell lies due to fear
of been discovered, you steal due to fear of being in lack, you scheme, plot,
backbite and speak ill of others due to fear of losing your social relevance.
You cheat out of fear of being left out.
Fear triggers your desperation for personal
preservation. Nearly 80 percent of your choices and decisions today are
prompted by the fear of something, they're not based on desire or purpose.
Dear friend, the fear of a life of lack and
poverty is the reason why you're probably still enduring that very stressful
employment and insensitive organisation.
Dear friends, fear is learnt, that's why its
relative, what scares me don't scare many other people and what scares some
people don't scare me. For example you can hardly catch me outside my home
after 9pm. I don't like being outside at night, I'm not a night person. I fear
being on the road at night. Some other person wouldn't mind being out there all
night long. Night and day makes no difference to them. On the other hand, I
don't know what stage fright means, I can address the whole world at once if
it's possible and you give me a microphone. I'm not afraid of stage or crowd no
matter the number. Some other person may not be able to address a group of five
persons, some can't even look a beautiful lady in the face and tell her he
loves her; he'll be shaking all over. What we fear differs because fear is
unique and not universal, the fear you learnt is different from the one I
learnt, dear friend, your fear is learnt and the good news is you can unlearn
it.
Dear friend, what you fear is not out there,
it's all in your mind, hence the battle against your fear is a battle in your
mind; your battle against fear is definitely not out there.
Fear can limit you, restrict you and frustrate
your potential for greatness in life. Being afraid can keep you in perpetual
poverty even if there are a million and one opportunities for you to make money.
When you're afraid, you miss opportunities, advantages and promotions in life
this is because life is designed to reward those who make attempt. Fear will
keep you from trying and if you don't try, you can't possibly succeed.
Dear friend, there is so much you can do and
achieve in life if you'll just let go of your fears. Think about it now, what
exactly are you afraid of today? The worst thing that can happen to anyone in
this life is death and guess what, death is guaranteed, we shall all die
someday. However, it is wisdom and honourable to die trying to achieve
greatness than live a long life attempting nothing and registering failure. The
worth of your life is measured in quality not quantity. What is the glory in
playing safe for a hundred years with nothing to show for it?
The greatest deception in life is that
assumption that you can actually preserve and keep yourself and preserve your
own life. Ladies and gentlemen, we die every night and wake up every morning;
not by choice but by divine grace and God's mercy. So why do you think you can,
by your own power, preserve your life?
Dear friend, this is definitely not a
recommendation to become careless and care free with your life, it is a charge
to be courageous and confident to do the right thing. You're probably afraid to
try great things because you're afraid to fail again, but if you don't try
again your life can never be great.
Courage dear friend is not the absence of
fear, courage is going ahead to do that very same thing you fear. Courage is
not that determination to do what you like, but the determination to do what is
right. That my friend is the lifestyle of champions and great achievers.
Don't live a worthless, uneventful life of no
positive impact and consequence. While you're still in this world, make your
season and time worthwhile. Let this generation know you came, you saw and you
conquered. Don't just make up the numbers and be another statistic, let your
life count positively. Let mankind be glad you were born and let them be
grateful for your life.
The greatest force against your success,
purpose and destiny is this life of fear, the strongest antidote to fear is
faith. What you believe eventually becomes your reality. As you think, so are
you. Avoid negative people and discard negative information, delete negative
memories and rewrite your memory with good and positive news, information and
people.
When you absorb information about great things
and great people and positive accomplishments; fear would disappear. Fear is
contagious, avoid cowards. Associate with the strong, the bold and the
courageous, courage is also contagious you know. Courage and faith are keys to
success and greatness. Reject that spirit of fear but take on that spirit of
courage, love and sound mind.
Fear makes you mentally numb and physically
weak. A mind filled with fear is a sick mind. Heal it with positive believing,
positive thinking and positive attitude. Dear friend, conquer your fears.
Written By: Muyiwa Afolabi
CEO; Frontiers Consulting Services
0 comments:
Post a Comment