Written By: Muyiwa Afolabi
So there’s this man who has totally messed up his life and family. He lost his job almost 10 years ago and since then things have really gone haywire for him and his family. A father of three teenage children who right now don’t relate with him and can hardly see him eye to eye. These teenagers in their earlier years at the university are actually fending for themselves and sponsoring themselves through school. Their mother can’t do much to help as she’s now down with a terminal ailment.
After her husband lost his job, she wanted to support in every way possible and decided to work very long hours in a chemical factory somewhere not far from their house where proper protection was not enforced for the factory workers. Eventually the work environment affected her health badly and right now she has very severe respiratory problems. She’s very weak and can’t do much work.
This man after losing his job wouldn’t take on another employment. He developed a victim mentality and began to blame everyone and everything for his failure in life. He would daily read newspapers and listen to the radio to find out what new thing the government and everyone else is doing wrong and he would criticize and condemn the government and many institutions all day long with his other associates who seem to be going nowhere in life. No job is good enough, no employment pays well enough, the country is terrible, the government knows nothing and his current condition is the fault of everyone else but him. That’s his rhetoric; his pomposity.
This attitude plunged his family into severe financial lack and insufficiency and his children definitely hold him responsible for their mother’s current state of health. They actually dislike him, they can’t stand his irresponsibility and arrogance in penury. They’ve all abandoned him and he’s become a very lonely man.
Trying to engage him and his children in a session I was invited to for reconciliation; for every issue raised by his children, the man’s response, submission and blame was on destiny. He kept saying it’s been destined for this to happen, this is how God wants it to be, there is nothing anyone can do about destiny, if God Has destined it, there is nothing any human being can do about it. This man blamed destiny for all his mess, mistakes irresponsibility and failures. He said it’s the fault of destiny. Hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen, many people have, and keep using destiny to excuse their failures, laziness, irresponsibility and weaknesses. When people fail, they blame destiny, when bad things happen, they blame destiny, even when it’s a repercussion for evil deeds done in time past, they blame destiny.
This orientation keeps working and thriving with many of us especially Africans simply because we do not understand what destiny really is.
So there’s this man who has totally messed up his life and
family. He lost his job almost 10 years ago and since then things have really
gone haywire for him and his family. A father of three teenage children who
right now don’t relate with him and can hardly see him eye to eye. These
teenagers in their earlier years at the university are actually fending for
themselves and sponsoring themselves through school. Their mother can’t do much
to help as she’s now down with a terminal ailment.
After her husband lost his job, she wanted to support in every
way possible and decided to work very long hours in a chemical factory
somewhere not far from their house where proper protection was not enforced for
the factory workers. Eventually the work environment affected her health badly
and right now she has very severe respiratory problems. She’s very weak and
can’t do much work.
This man after losing his job wouldn’t take on another
employment. He developed a victim mentality and began to blame everyone and
everything for his failure in life. He would daily read newspapers and listen
to the radio to find out what new thing the government and everyone else is
doing wrong and he would criticize and condemn the government and many
institutions all day long with his other associates who seem to be going
nowhere in life. No job is good enough, no employment pays well enough, the
country is terrible, the government knows nothing and his current condition is
the fault of everyone else but him. That’s his rhetoric; his pomposity.
This attitude plunged his family into severe financial lack and
insufficiency and his children definitely hold him responsible for their
mother’s current state of health. They actually dislike him, they can’t stand
his irresponsibility and arrogance in penury. They’ve all abandoned him and
he’s become a very lonely man.
Trying to engage him and his children in a session I was invited
to for reconciliation; for every issue raised by his children, the man’s
response, submission and blame was on destiny. He kept saying it’s been
destined for this to happen, this is how God wants it to be, there is nothing
anyone can do about destiny, if God Has destined it, there is nothing any human
being can do about it. This man blamed destiny for all his mess, mistakes
irresponsibility and failures. He said it’s the fault of destiny. Hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen, many people have, and keep using destiny
to excuse their failures, laziness, irresponsibility and weaknesses. When
people fail, they blame destiny, when bad things happen, they blame destiny,
even when it’s a repercussion for evil deeds done in time past, they blame
destiny.
This orientation keeps working and thriving with many of us
especially Africans simply because we do not understand what destiny really is.
Many of us erroneously believe destiny is God’s wish, will,
design and what’s more, his minute by minute unfolding desires for our lives.
We believe everything that happens and occurs in our lives per minute and per
second is according to how God wants it to be and how he has ruled it to be and
there’s nothing we can do about it. Dear friends, this is not the complete
truth.
If indeed this is the right definition and description of what
destiny is, it means man has no accountability to God on how life goes, as it
means it’s entirely beyond man to influence or change anything destined and
enforced by God. Making man responsible and holding man accountable for what
God himself ordained and enforced will make God appear unfair in judging man
and asking man to account for something man is powerless over.
Ladies and gentlemen, you have freewill – that is the power to
choose between God’s plan for you or your personal desires, it’s the power to
choose what is right and what is wrong. You have the power to choose hard work
instead of laziness. You have the power to choose knowledge instead of
ignorance, you have the power to choose honesty, integrity and character
instead of corruption and immorality. You have the power to choose the good
over the bad. That is why you are accountable.
In a very religious society like ours, achieving success in your
business and career will depend on your clear understanding and interpretation
of religious doctrines, if not, you may be misled and become sincerely wrong.
And this may lead to failure in your endeavors.
Ladies and gentlemen, God’s plan and strategy for your life is
your destiny. This plan and strategy includes but of course not limited to the
place of your birth, the time of your birth, you nationality, your gender, your
parents, your tribe and culture, your looks and stature, and the gifts and
talents planted in you by your maker. That’s the plan. The strategy includes
your location, the people God brings your way, the opportunities He brings your
way, the favours that come your way and the help you find along your way. All
these are divine supplies and provision for you to become that which he has in
mind for you.
However, using the favors, seizing the opportunities,
activation, implementation and compliance with the plans and strategy is your
responsibility that’s why you’re accountable. Being of the black race, being a
Nigerian, and your gender, your family are all part of His plans and strategy.
But hard work, diligence, educating yourself, seeking knowledge, getting a job,
earning your promotion, integrity, character, honesty, faithfulness and
obedience are your roles that will make you fulfil your destiny.
To make clearer this understanding, I have a son, he wants to be
a software engineer. My dream and plan for him as my son is for me to one day
celebrate my son as a professional software engineer. I’ll feed him, I’ll
clothe him, I’ll accommodate him, pay his school fees and provide all he wants
to fulfil that plan of becoming a software engineer, that’s destiny which is a
combination of my plans and strategy for him.
But it’s absurd for him to expect me to attend lectures for him,
copy his notes, do his assignments, write his tests and exams and pass for him.
If he doesn’t attend lectures, copy his notes, write his tests and exams and
eventually drops out of school and fails to become an engineer, he will be
wrong to say that’s how I’ve planned his life to be as his father – that I
actually predesigned his failure. No, that would be unfair to me his father.
Ladies and gentlemen, be fair to God, stop holding him
responsible for your irresponsibility. Stop misapplying religious injunctions.
To succeed in business and career you must be hardworking, diligent,
knowledgeable, responsible, dedicated and wise. Stop using destiny as an excuse
for failure, your destiny is in the palms of your hand. Arise today and play
your part, you owe your maker accountability, collaborate with divinity and
succeed, don’t just be religious, be responsible, be ambitions and do something
great with your life.
Written By: Muyiwa Afolabi
Written By: Muyiwa Afolabi
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