FEAR THE RIGHT THINGS

Yes, I feel it, I sense it. It's very common these days. Many people are afraid. In the attempt to discuss or share views on different subject matters, you'd here it come up subtly or strongly – the very many things people fear these days.

Just look into the eyes, you'll see it there; the look of insecurity, tension, anxiety and self-doubt as you go about interacting with your everyday people.

You look at faces around, you see the scowl, the glare, the frown and different expressions revealing the dreads, fears and tension locked up within.

Dear friend, are you afraid? Every now and again you recall the issue, the problem and situation bringing about the fear and instantly your smile turns awkward, your temporary happiness evaporates, you stiffen, your face tightens up and that mild sensation crawls up your skin – that wave sweeps across your soul. That is fear.

Fear; what an emotion. Fear is a chain reaction that starts with fearful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that causes a racing heart, fast breathing and energised muscles. Fear produces a fight or flight response.

Fear is unconsciously created in your brain but strongly informed by your personal interpretation of events and possible outcomes.

Dear friend, what are you afraid of? Is there anything today that scares you? I believe so, every human being has one fear or more about something or someone. This is simply due to our lack of control over all people and every event. What's more, we lack absolute control over the future. You don't know and can't correctly predict the future. What your future holds, you do not know, consequently certain thoughts begin to flood your mind based on possible terrifying outcomes and eventualities that can be really scary.

Ladies and gentlemen, thoughts don't just pop up, they are actually produced by earlier information obtained, received and stored in your memory. You can't think about what you're not aware of. You can't meditate on what you do not know exists. The reason you'll be afraid of a plane crash for example, is because you know what a plane is and you know a crash can occur based on seen proof or experience. Toddlers, little children have no fear of hot water, hot kettle or electric pressing iron because they have no prior experience of the danger and the hurt.

Every fearful thought is a product of earlier information stored up in your memory.

But do you know fear is a neutral emotion? It can be positive or negative depending on what is scaring you.

Fear is an unconscious emotional and sensory reaction to situations, information and events that threatens your life, your happiness, your peace, your wellbeing or possessions.

The real purpose of fear is to warn you not stop you. That feeling called fear naturally expects a response or reaction from you, which is basically to fight, or to flee. Fear is nothing but a fight or flight challenge.

Many of us today perhaps see fear as a negative emotion that is meant to stop us, limit us or hinder us from doing what we desire to do. This is not the case, fear basically warns us to be careful and do the right thing to protect ourselves and our interests in life. Disregarding fear, ignoring fear and pushing it away is not always courage as some would suggest, it can sometimes be fool hardiness.

To be drunk and decide to still drive is not courage but fool hardiness. To engage in unprotected sex with multiple partners is not courage but foolhardiness, to remain a bosom friend with a dangerous person with criminal mind and intentions is not courage but foolhardiness. To invest your hard earned cash in schemes and concepts guaranteed to fail is not courage but foolhardiness.

Every time you're afraid, pause and think, pay attention to the warning and do your checks.

Fear is not a bad thing, fear is just a trigger, a prompting; an initiate to get you out of that dangerous zone.

The basis of many of our fears today is perhaps the reluctance to get out of our dangerous comfort zones. Many times we don't know how to get out of a dangerous comfort zone, or we're unwilling to deal with anything that is dangerous to our life, peace, happiness, possession and wellbeing till it's too late.

You know your income right now is nothing to write home about, the economic recession has weakened your purchasing power, your bills are rising, your employer company isn't doing so well and you may even lose your job. This may bring fear to your heart. But rather than make decisions and choices to get another job, expand your streams of income or do something concrete to mitigate a negative possibility, you'd rather just remain as you are and hope for the best doing nothing. Dear friend, fear will not let you rest until you decide to do something meaningful. The warning will persist.

Your business is doing very badly, you're losing customers, pilling bills, can't pay salaries, rent or even run the business. You have no clue or answers as to what next to do. The purpose of fear is to shove you and push you out of that docile and laid back position into seeking new knowledge, counsel and advice from experts or mentors on what you should do to revive your business. If you refuse to do something, fear will not let you rest.

If your relationship is killing your happiness, joy, peace and wellbeing, wisdom is to stay away until your partner figures out himself or herself, if they wouldn't, find someone else with the capacity to love you and give you peace and happiness. Toxic relationships can poison your mind and soul and kill you quicker than physical ailment. In fact, it can drive you insane. Fear will not allow you relax in a dangerous relationship. That's its purpose- to make you react, respond and do the right thing, stop suppressing fear; respond to it.

You've worked for many years and nearing retirement. You have no idea or clue or confidence on what next to do. Yes, you'll be paid so much upon your exit, but how do you wisely use it to in fact, improve your life post retirement. You perhaps have no idea. The purpose of fear is to cease your peace until you find a solution. Seek help, seek information, seek counsel on what next to do, only then will fear let you be.

Ladies and gentlemen, fear is not actually a negative emotion, it is a neutral emotion; it serves to get you to react to any threat to your life, your success or wellbeing. Use fear to your advantage, don't let anyone make you feel wrong that you're afraid, it's okay to be scared. Courage is simply the ability to respond correctly to fear. A right response to fear is such that improves you and make you progress in life. Just respond right and let your right response get rid of your feelings of fear.

If there's anything you need to fear, have fear for poverty and lack, have fear for not being in charge of your life, your time, your future, your purpose and destiny, have fear for inability to pay rent, hospital bills and school fees, have fear for never realising your dreams, have fear for loneliness and lack in old age, have fear for ill-gotten wealth and have fear for negative people, discouragers, non-achievers and the pessimist.

Let these fears push and shove you out of that complacent zone, let fear guide your decisions with and in all things. Fear is really not a bad thing, just let your fear be fair. Fear the right things.

Written By : Muyiwa Afolabi

CEO; Frontiers Consulting Services