Life generally is about trade-offs. For anything you want, you
must be willing to sacrifice for it. There is nothing really free I tell you.
Many today want better quality of life, more
income, more time, better living standards, health, peace, happiness, security,
friendships and quality relationships. These are all good things that of course
would bring satisfaction and fulfilment. But truth is they all come with a
price tag.
You see, you can't have it all without giving
up something; you can't eat your cake and have it. You must be willing to give
something to get something. That's the way life is.
Look at your life right now, what do you really
want? What is that thing you'll get that would really make you happy and
satisfied?
You see, it's important we correctly define
what we actually want. If we are not very clear on what we want, we may end up
chasing the wrong thing and becoming frustrated if eventually that thing does
not bring the joy and satisfaction desired.
Many today confuse means with ends, processes
with accomplishments, accesses with destinations, association with
relationships. They can’t really tell the difference; unfortunately they still
end up frustrated.
For example, money is not an end; it's a means
to an end. Many confuse these two ideals. Money in itself is nothing without an
end in mind or a well-defined purpose for it. I've heard many people say I want
to be rich, very rich and they are willing to work very hard to get money.
Eventually when they become well off, they are still unhappy and frustrated
because they mistook money for an acquisition that would bring happiness, but
money doesn't really bring happiness and satisfaction, it is when it is used
for a well pre-defined purpose that it brings satisfaction and real peace. When
you spend money carelessly just to acquire unnecessary material things and for
selfish ends, it makes you unhappy. There is what is called buyer's remorse – a
bad feeling that comes after buying something you realize you never really
needed. Hence, you find a lot of rich frustrated people acting in lawlessness,
oppressing and intimidating the so called less privilege. This is simply
because they really don't understand what money means and its real purpose.
Tragically the cash then becomes a curse and their undoing.
Another example is confusing association with
relationships. A good, rewarding relationship must be well defined from the
start. When people begin to associate without defining the reason and the
essence, it most often ends up in crisis and hurt. Association without
definition is not a relationship because all relationships must be well
defined. When an association is well defined, then it becomes a relationship.
An association may have a name tag and yet not be well defined. For example
‘we’re friends’ is an association tag but the relationship is yet to be
defined. This is because there a different kinds of friendships. If the parties
involved don't define clearly this friendship, its crisis waiting to happen.
For every association you must have a purpose and a definition. This definition
will entail the details of your own responsibilities and expectations and the
other party must also share the same picture in details as far as the
relationship is concerned, this is when there can be real fulfilment and
satisfaction in the relationship.
In career many confuse position with power. In
fact many can't tell the difference between the purpose of a position and the
purpose of the power tied to the position.
Position in career is 100% about
responsibility. It's about what you should be doing and accomplishing. It's
about the role and function of the office. What does that office exist for? Why
was it created? What are the nature, quality and degree of value expected from
the position? What should the person in that position have the capacity to
generate and contribute?
Positions generally are about work and
responsibility, every position created in a company is for work to be done
there. Now if the occupant of that position thinks more about hierarchy,
levels, control, respect and class and can hardly see the work in the position
as the main thing, there is going to be ineffectiveness and work crisis.
Such a one would be distracted and
self-conscious, the work would cease to be priority and non- value-adding
office matters would he prioritize.
Be it money, relationship or a high position
in career, happiness and satisfaction would elude us after attaining, if our
motives and intentions are wrongly defined.
Your motivation for a particular position or
office in career should be primarily about the purpose of the office. You must
be driven by a will to contribute through the office to the overall success of
the business. You must come up with your strategies and plans on how to improve
the capacity and value adding potentials of the office. You must be excited
about engaging your creativity in making the office or position outstanding,
performance wise – setting new records, innovations and superior output.
It should never be about how many people now
report to you, the size and beauty of your office, your official cars, perks
and other benefits tied to the office. It should never be about power tussle,
who rules, who controls and who’s in charge, it shouldn't be about having your
way and imposing your will on everybody and the system in general.
You must be seen as gentle, reliable,
self-controlled, thoughtful, considerate and a good listener. Because when you
invest too much energy dealing with people instead of focusing on your
responsibility and productivity, you'll eventually malfunction.
Never let anything you want be absolutely
about yourself, your wants and your needs, let it be about a more encompassing
reason. Get money for a good reason; gun for a position in your career for a
reason bigger than you. Make sacrifices, give up selfish benefits and delay
your gratification for the overall purpose and good of your enterprise. I
assure you it's never a loss; you will definitely gain it back.
Everything in life is paid for, if you don’t
give up something for anything, it will not bring you any satisfaction or
fulfilment. What you take, you can lose but what you earn remains yours.
Don't join the band wagon of self-centered
people - those that crave for instant benefits and instant gratification; take
a good look around for people like that, they always loose out at the end;
lonely, rejected and irrelevant But people that spend themselves and sacrifice
for a great purpose and for others always reap good reward at the end of the
day, in cash, in friendships, relationships, in relevance, respect and heroism.
Their names and deeds are never forgotten.
You may not be required to sacrifice as much
as Nelson Mandela had to, Just your little bit in your own little way, in your
own little corner, catch the spirit.
Written By : Muyiwa Afolabi
CEO; Frontiers Consulting Services
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